For You
by bookworm1818
Summary: "And I wonder, would I give my life? Could I make that sacrifice? If it came down to it, could I take the bullet, I would. Yes I would, for you." -Keith Urban
1. Chapter 1

**Written while putting off writing an essay. Lost track of time and now... well, let's just say I'll be awake for a few more hours. Inspiration came from "For You" by Keith Urban.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything you recognize.**

When Esposito sees the grenade roll across the linoleum floor towards him, he does what he was trained to do, what he was forced to do, what was drilled into his brain.

"Bomb!" He shouts, the sound erupting from his chest is rough and primal. Adrenaline shoots through him as he turns to the direction they came from, fanning his arm out in the direction his team should go in.

He can hear those milliseconds ticking away in his brain. Any second now, any second.

* * *

Esposito's warning shoots through Kate's heart. Panic floods her. She can't breathe, she can't move. She has to get her team out.

Her team. The ones she has vowed to protect. Her brothers in arms. She turns towards the door, waving her arm madly to gesture for them to move. They just stare.

"Go! Go!" She screams, her voice reflecting her panic. Castle moves towards the door with Esposito and Ryan following shortly behind.

There's still so far to go.

* * *

When Castle realizes that Kate follows behind, he stops, planting his feet stubbornly. He waits for her, catches a glimpse of her manic eyes as she rushes forward, knowing that if they make it through this, she's going to kill him.

He braces himself for the blast. He's not ready to go. That ring is still sitting in his desk drawer…

When she reaches his side, they move forward, together. Just like always.

* * *

Ryan watches as his team races towards the doors of the room, to safety. They still have so far to go. His conclusion is like ice in his veins, creeps into his heart, and stops all time. Life freezes around him, and he feels like he has all the time in the world.

Except he doesn't He's not going to make it to that door. None of them are. The numbers shoot through his mind. Four to none, three to one.

He doesn't want to go. Jenny still has nine more weeks and they don't even know if it's a boy or girl…

He looks back at the grenade, still sitting on the floor. He runs to it.

* * *

There's no way any of them are going to reach the doors in time. Esposito knows that, but he's going to die trying. He throws one last look over his shoulder and his heart stops.

That's Ryan throwing himself onto the ground. .

When the blast comes, they all flinch. He looks to Castle and Beckett, who are frozen, looks of horror and comprehension on their faces.

Esposito doesn't move.

There's barely a body left to save.


	2. Chapter 2

"Careful, Emmett " Jenny calls to the bright eyed boy who weaves his way between the gravestones, chasing some imaginary source with the innocent entertainment only a child can find. She smiles to herself, tucking her hair behind her ear and adjusting her scarf.

She and Emmett have been here for quite a while already before the young boy's attention span had drawn to an end. She sits on the grass in front of the marble stone, looking at it, unsure what to say now that they are alone. A small American flag leans up against the stone, so she assumes Esposito must have stopped by. She knows Kate and Rick will probably come and leave some flowers today, like they do every year. She traces her fingers along the engraved words.

_Here lies Officer Kevin Ryan, loving husband and father, who gave his life in the line of duty._

_July 18th, 1979 – March 21st, 2013_

_"Valor is a gift. Those having it never know for sure whether they have it till the test comes."  
-Carl Sandburg._

"It's been four years. Emmett is getting so big." She says with a small smile, tears slipping out of the corners of her eyes. A quick glance at their son revels that he continues to play contently a short distance away from her. "He asks about you a lot, now that he's older. He wants to know why he doesn't have a dad, and I don't know what to tell him."

She sniffles at this, mopping freezing tears from her cheeks with the sleeve of her jacket.

"Usually, I just say that Daddy had to go away. That maybe, someday, we'll both see you again. But today, I think I'll tell him the truth. The whole truth about what you did and how brave it was. You deserve that, and so does he. He deserves to be able to say that his Daddy is a hero, because you are, Kevin." She reaches under the neckline of her coat, and pulls out the necklace. It's a police shield, removed from the tidy leather case and placed on a silver chain. Yes, it's tacky and clashes with every single outfit she wears, and yet the surface is worn smooth from her thumbing it and it hasn't left her neck in four years. "I love you."

She sits there for a moment, just happy to feel the warmness of the sunlight beaming down on her, happy to be spending this moment with her husband. After a few moments, she gets to her feet and brushes off her coat, looking about for Emmett. He's nowhere to be seen.

"Emmett?" She calls, early stages on panic laced in her voice. " Emmett? C'mon, we have to go!" She takes several steps forward, and then moves to her right, trying to see over all of the marble stones. "This isn't funny, Emmett!" She says, pacing forward nervously, her eyes darting in every direction, searching for any movement in the field. Panic overwhelms her, as she continues her unsuccessful search. She feels new tears pressing against her eyes, struggling to come loose.

"Momma?" Comes a small child's shout. She sees him then, facing the tree line along the edge of the graveyard. Sparkling blue eyes framed with thick, dark eyelashes meet hers as he turns and bounds towards her, messy blond hair bouncing atop his head.

"Oh, thank God!" She breathes, scooping the small child up into her arms when he reaches her. She perches him on her hip. "Don't ever run away like that again! What were you doing?" She scolds gently, brushing her fingers through his hair as she kisses his cheek.

"Momma, I saw Daddy!" The child insists, his feet bouncing against her in excitement.

"I know, I did too. But remember, Daddy is on the other side of the field, not here." She reminds him, as she turns and starts to walk towards the street.

"I did!" The child insists, looking over her shoulder. "He was right there! He hugged me and we played catch!"

"Emmett, there's nobody there." Jenny says with soft laugh. "C'mon. Let's get ice cream, then there's something I need to tell you."

* * *

Ryan smiles sadly as he watches Jenny carry their son away. His heart swells with joy when his son turns over his mother's shoulder and tentatively waves goodbye to him with a dimpled smile.

Ryan lets one tear escape, fingers the baseball he clutches in his hand, and waves back. What he wouldn't give to be walking home with them right now. But he made his choice all those years ago, and he still stands by it. He has no regrets.

And now, he and his family must part and go their separate ways.

It's time for him to move on.

**Sooo... reviews, please? **


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